I can’t sleep. I have to share this because maybe I am also but if I record it and wake up, it could be real.
Thanks to TYT, I became more active and aware of the world around us. I followed the mess that was our Afghanistan pullout. I was overwhelmed with emotion and I reached out to somewhat random people left behind in Kabul. I asked if they were safe. I did my best to give them hope. I gave information on the other countries and what they were saying to do. Not everyone replied. I made a few friends. Some disappeared while others kept me updated on their wellbeing.
One guy in particular kept in touch with me regularly. We became friends but conversation was limited mostly because the Taliban randomly inspected phones for anyone who worked with Americans. He and I would discuss methods of leaving the country and utilizing the embassies in Iran. This has been going on for nearly 5 years now.
In this time, he’s had regular conversations with me. He has shared his fears and updated me on his situation. And surprisingly, he has not asked me for money. Technically, I randomly sought him out.
Something unexpected happened though. In our friendship, other feelings have developed. I wasn’t expecting this, especially from him. You can’t be gay in Afghanistan. Your family could give you an honor killing if the family gets to you first. But I’ve clarified in every way to make sure the translation was working properly so he was on the same page as me.
In all this time, we were coming up with dead ends to get him out of there. I would always shoot down any idea he had of smuggling himself across the border. However, I was not aware of his determination that apparently I fueled, and he just got his passport, which I thought was impossible!
He’s ready to journey to Iran shortly. We had to figure out the next step to get out of there, likely to the UK. He wants to come to me in the US. I joked around about marriage, after he was in the UK, but to my surprise, he didn’t get offended by that.
We talked a lot on that topic and apparently I awoke something inside of him that fear suppressed. I also helped free himself from the dogma of his religion, and helped him think freely.
While I was giving hope to never give up, I apparently did more than that, over the course of almost 5 years. I was not expecting this. The feelings, while hindered by distance, are mutual. I had to make sure we’re weren’t using a dating app because I was shocked. This wasn’t part of the plan.
But in all the darkness that was left, was the hope I gave him enough to be a beacon of light? Or if John was reading this, “A beacon to light the way in [his] darkest hour”? John isn’t a nerd if he doesn’t get that reference.
I didn’t have hope anyone could leave there. Basically, I give hope to men but keep none for myself. Yet, he’s done more than I had expected.