I want to feel like a human again

Hello I’m new here.
I figured I should share a little about myself .
I live in Portland Oregon.
I was born and raised here.
I hate to say such a cliche thing but this is my identity.
I am a product of my environment.

I found this place as a result of a few clips I’ve seen with Ana Kasparian.
Ana, thank you for speaking with such power and resolve my own truths.
I have no idea how you have read my mind but you have.

Any how, Operation Hope. This has got my attention. I’m sitting at home right now with my child cause their school teachers are striking (I stand with PAT).
Recently I have given up my tech career of 20 years to start over.
I don’t want to work for a company, I want to work for people.

Until I figure out what that even means I’ve been just driving uber eats.
Not gonna lie, I kind of like it. Don’t have to talk to anyone and its super flexible.

So that now I’m driving everyday, I am also on the streets everyday. I need to talk to you what is a epidemic that no one is really talking about. Its called Hopelessness.

The homeless issue here, it’s not about housing at all. Its not about jobs at all. Its not about a lack of therapy or a lack of laws changing, its not about drug abuse.

Its about hopelessness. Hopelessness is what is destroying my community right now.
It is what I will call a sociological mental illness that effects everyone not just the homeless or disadvantaged. Its also caused by everyone, the apathy from the affluent exacerbates the self harm the homeless inflict on their selves. In other words I believe we can end homelessness in Portland if we all change within our own selves.

I’ve been making an effort to ask a really hard question to the people I see on the streets everyday. Its this simple, I see the transformation before my eyes.

Its starts like this. I see someone who clearly is struggling really hard. I interrupt them, ask “Hey, has anyone told you that they loved you today.” (my mother user to say that to me and I find my self asking it all the time now.)

There is a briefer moment of soul crushing pain in their face as the realization of that question hits them. they simple say no. But then they realize why I’m asking. And yeah I give them my love. I love you. I wish I could express how important to me this is. It heals me in ways I can’t explain. I only hope that it sparks life into them.

Love is not enough, but love is the essence of hope. With out love you can’t have hope. End hopelessness and give your love away.


FYI, you’re not alone. I keep doing nice things for random people and neighbors, because all I see is indifference, hate, fear, and hopelessness. If I don’t purposefully stay positive, I’d lose hope to. Almost did awhile back. Somehow, when most my family, friends, etc. have lost their minds in the MAGA cult, or just don’t care to know basic facts anymore. If it weren’t for TYT, the majority report etc. I’d probably have gone crazy. It’s like I’m on an island. Feels like I’m stuck in a long episode of the twilight zone where I’m being trolled by everyone around me. How can people be this willfully ignorant? Thank you for being a great person. :heart::peace_symbol: LEFT is BEST


Love is the most powerful virtue to display. It is the unification point of all things. This also means you may gain a false sense of security from its power. We recently lost a homeless advocate in our region to mysterious circumstances. They had an attitude much like what you projected in your message.

It is dangerous to love those who don’t love themselves. Two reasons:

  1. Others spend a lot of time and effort dividing people for the purpose of subjugation.

  2. When you interact with a true believer that has been treated to cruelty for a longtime. They can become unpredictable in any circumstance. This happens rarely but don’t underestimate this risk. When you display love to them the initial rejection may be violent. They have been manipulated by everyone their whole life and this display of love maybe misinterpreted as manipulation. They may find it just to harm you greatly due to their erroneous idea your attempting to harm them with a sacred thing like love.

This is a very common sentiment from those in our position as far as I can tell. One thing that has helped me is to make fun of Obama when they bring up how bad Biden is. Just bring up something about saluting with a latte or a tan suite. This seems to ease their minds most times.

Hello! I am in Hillsboro Oregon, thank you for your thoughtful post, please reach out when Cenks team for president in Oregon starts assembling, hopefully we can work together!


I fully understand the risk, I was homeless at 15 after I ran away.
I’ve lived on these very streets too.
I’ve been to jail and other places many others would not fair well in.
I can count the number of times a gun has been pulled on me.
I’m not your normal kind of person though I hide it well now that I make enough to take care of my family and partake in typical consumerist activates.

The only time I have been truly fearful is when I catch myself self destructing because I can’t stand society. This normally happens after events where people force me to attend things like company retreats or even holidays. I can’t tell you how much I hate my own birthday. The last company retreat I was forced to attend, I ended up in Seattle with people eating $120 stake with cheesecake on it. I ended up leaving the event and drinking with the street people on Capital Street all night long. I’m much less a target than a danger to myself. Most people that I approach already know where I have been because they can relate and they rarely take my presence as a threat or insincere. I’m also a 6 foot, 200lbs white 40 year old man who looks “different”,
Ok, I look like a homeless person most days too :sweat_smile: :sweat_smile:
I think because I scare most people at first, they are less guarded after I show them empathy . If they are truly having a fragile moment I can typically de escalate them since I present no fear of them nor do I present my self as something to resist or get in their way. We really need a better health system

This is not an invitation to all to just jump into the deep end. There is truth in the warning given to me. You will all have to find your own level of comfort. Though I will say I would rather die doing the right thing than live in fear of not doing the right thing.
Listen to your intuition.

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I agree with everything that you said. I bet we would get along well if we met. I live in Northern California.

Honestly this liaison position is what needs to be funded. People like yourself could likely organize tiny house communities if backed with funding.

I am working on a hempcrete tiny house concept that utilizes bamboo. Maybe we could work on something there? I am still early stages so I will update here or Discord when I have media / product worth posting.


I can’t wait to build a Hempcrete house are you kidding!? Have you had the pleasure to work on any actual builds yet? I have only done a concrete brick for one of the like global Hempcrete meetings one year.

I have yet to build one. I have a bunch of experience in construction. I have a close friend to happens to be an engineer and he has a passion for affordable housing. I have been inspired by the fires in Maui. I attempting to gather resources to get initial order at vendors.

My staging area had a tragic series of events unfold which set us back pretty far. The longtime partner of the owner of the property died in a tragic fire. We have been in a bit of a regrouping mode since.

I want to have something by this winter but I have no real time table. I will post here as soon as I have some cad files and a bit more testing.

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