Humans are social creatures, and we have millions of years of evolution that have shaped us to listen to judgement, especially from authority figures or peers. So rejecting judgment can be difficult, but as with any skill, it takes practice.
Most of my practice with this came from my experiences as a female math professor. But I’m thankful because when I needed it the most, I was ready.
My older son is on the spectrum and had a lot of social challenges in high school. So when it came time to decide what he wanted to do after graduating we talked about it, and he decided to not go to college. My husband and I fully supported his decision.
He, of course, got the brunt of the judgment. His teachers, friends, extended family, the world, all expectated him to go to college. And the pressure from folks was higher because I’m a professor.
It got worse when he decided to stay at home and not work right away. There were a lot of reasons such as the pandemic, family health issues, etc. He also needed to take time to figure out what he wanted to do and not rush into huge debt!
For me, the most important part was that he was suicidal, and he knew college was not what was best for him!
The mama bear in me was determined to not only reject the judgment, but to shut it down. We were a united front and folks at eventually stopped their ridiculousness.
Now, a few years later, he went to school, he’s happy, healthy, and working full-time as a welder. And he still rejects judgment. #win
I should also point out that after working there for a few months he makes more than my college-educated hubby makes after 25 years.
#teamjoy #OperationHope
